It's Baaaaaack

Can I first note that this blog maybe isn't for the immature or easily ickified?

So last week I noticed a few spots on my chin. 'Hmm,' I thought, 'must be getting ready to start my cycles again.'

A couple days later I was REALLY horny. 'Woo hoo,' I thought.

A few days later my belly got all icky feeling. 'I hope I'm not going to be sick,' I thought.

THEN, my pants were tight! 'WTF,' I thought! 'I've been really good this week,why are my pants not fitting me!!!'

Of course, then I got my period. No one tells you that when you get pregnant, you forget all the symptoms of a pending period. So now I'm mourning my days without having to buy tampons and sanitary pads. But I'm also celebrating a bit because it means I'm still ovulating and still fertile. But man, 15 months without a period was niiiiiiiiiiiice!

So now it's back... and with a vengeance. I feel like I'm in 7th grade all over again! I was expecting my period to be like it used to be... not too heavy, over in a couple days. Well, this baby has been like a flood. I'm having to go and buy the super mega pads so I don't make a mess anywhere! I haven't had to buy those in years! I was always so proud of my calm, easily managed periods. Now I'm not sure what to expect. It's been 2 1/2 days and it's still not showing any signs of abating (it would have by now if it was pre-baby days). I'm just hoping that it's over and done with before my flights on Wednesday. Ugh, I can't imagine having to change my tampon in an airplane. No thank you!

But, all in all, I guess I can't really complain. As a larger woman, I was worried about being able to conceive in the first place. So now that my monthly visitor has decided to return, it's put my mind at ease that Jacob's sibling WILL be arriving sometime in the future.

Such the Proud Mama

Well, since I'm really rubbish ALREADY at keeping up with Jacob's baby book, I thought I could at least put some stuff on the blog so that someday I may be able to go back to this and tell Jake more about his milestones. :) So today, Jacob's 23 week birthday, was pretty big for him! Right before daddy came home from work, Jake successfully rolled from his back to his belly! Well, he's been doing that mostly for a while now, but he usually gets his arms stuck under him so he can't fully turn over. Today he rolled over and unstuck his arm, then did a push up. That was pretty darned cool.

Even cooler, at his bath time tonight, he actually showed physical signs of PLEASURE at being bathed! At first he would cry or yell when bathing, which turn to quiet unease, then quiet unsured-ness. But tonight it was actually smiling, gurgling, kicking pleasure! Hurray!

I wanted to put up a cuter picture, but the others require rotating the photo and I have NO idea how to do that on blogspot! I suppose I could get into iPhoto and rotate it first, but that would be too simple! :) Ok, hold on a second...

Right, here we go!

Much better! Dad's got his hand in a very fortuitous spot, but is actually just helping him from sliding down into the water. Those babies get slippery!

Bulkhead!

So, I've been struggling to get off that last half stone (7 pounds) of pregnancy weight. Add that to whatever crap I ate while I was home on vacation, and I've added probably a few more on as well. And once you fall off the healthy eating wagon, it can be very difficult to get back on!

Well, next month, I will be flying with Jacob BY MYSELF to New Orleans for a convention, followed by a trip to see my Kim in LA. That means I'll more than likely have to sit in the bulkhead aisle with Jacob to allow him to have a bassinet. Now, the bassinet is a GREAT idea, but I just find those bulkhead aisles to be SO uncomfortable, considering how wide my arse is now...especially since having a baby. I'm just not looking forward to this. The torture of these bulkhead aisles is horrible. Sure you get more legroom, but you get armrests that don't go up, and they're solid metal to accommodate your tray table, so my bum can't even slither it's way underneath.

Just the thought of my 8+ hour flight from Heathrow to Chicago in the bulkhead aisle is causing me to cringe. Which I've found to be a GREAT motivation to stay on that healthy eating bandwagon! For example, a couple days ago, I was doing our grocery shopping and I passed a basket selling Oreos for 1 euro a packet! Ohhh, boy was I tempted to purchase a pack and stuff them all into me with milk when I got home. Yum! But, I used my new motivational keyword, and thought to myself, 'bulkhead.' Just that one word is enough to trigger the uncomfortable memories and the motivation to just keep walking past those lovely evil temptations.

So far, my trigger word has helped me to lose 6 pounds, so I've got to say, there's something to this. Taping a picture of a hot woman in a bikini to my fridge? Nope. Been there, tried that. Going to the supermarket full? I'll still find something tempting to bring home. But saying 'bulkhead' while looking at those temptations? Boy does it work.

It's worked well enough that I've suggested to Rob that maybe he needs a trigger word? He's going to try 'tweed' as his tweed suits are getting too tight and he LOVES wearing them. We'll see how it works for him. I challenge all who are having a tough time losing those last few pounds (or anyone who is lacking motivation), to find a trigger word. For me, it's a word that conjures up such uncomfortable memories that I want to avoid a repeat of. 'Bulkhead' also reminds me of my new goal of fitting comfortably in the upcoming bulkhead next month.

I hope this technique works for others. I'm finding it brilliant! I hope you can all find your bulkhead!

Clarification

I think I freaked a lot of people out (well, 2 or 3), when I said my bra was discontinued. I didn't mean the whole line was gone, just the one that I love. My favorite bra looked like the one from the link below but without the wire.



Unfortunately, Lane Bryant's website isn't selling my favorite bra. It's well and truly gone. Boo.

RIP, Cacique Bras

I'm in mourning... over my bra. When I was home in August, I went to Lane Bryant, all very excited because I was going to replenish my ever-manky supply of cacique, non-wire soft bras. Well, turns out, they've discontinued the line! NOOOOOOOOO! What am I going to wear now?!? Honestly, I was almost in tears at the store. It took quite a large force of will to keep it together... I'll blame it on the baby hormones.

So what do I do now? I bought a wired bra, but I'll only where that when I HAVE to, and then a different non-wire. But it's just not MY BRA! I pray to God my 3 caciques last me out the rest of my nursing. Woe is me...

Battle of the Nursing Bras- Conclusion

I give up! I thought I would be spending some quality time getting to know and love my nursing bras through this process, but all I've discovered is that plus size nursing bras are NOT made for plus sized women! I bought the largest cup size Motherhood had, but in the long run, my boobs were just spilling out of them. That's not comfortable, and it's certainly not attractive. So I've spent the majority of my motherhood wearing my regular mega-bras and just whipping my breast out over the cup when Jake needed to eat. Not the most comfortable, but it's only for a minutes at a time, so I've learned to live with it.

I guess, then, my conclusion to this bra battle is that, for the super-plus sized nursing woman, the regular, every day bra is your best bet. If only I had a design degree and financial backing, I'd create a line of proper fitting nursing bra's!

Whirlwind

Wow, so much has gone on in this past month! At the beginning of August, Jake was visited by two lovely ladies, Shelah and Heather. Shelah came for just a few days before heading off to visit some other friends in Europe. Heather came for just under 3 weeks the day after Shelah left! Needless to say, Jacob had a LOT of entertaining to do! Heather travelled with Jacob and me to Hamburg and Bad Oldesloe, Germany for our friend's wedding, where she ended up meeting Shelah (who is a mutual friend too) and hitting it off! Jacob got to go on his very first plane ride, where he was an ANGEL! The boy is a pro at flying already! He slept the entire way... good boy!

Germany was HOT and there was no AC in our hotel room... apparently they only need it for about a month every year so noone bothers to get it. Poor Jake was soaking the whole time. But he had a good time and was fawned over by everyone.

With Heather, Jake and I went quite a few places in Ireland, too... New Grange, Glendalough, Roscrea, to name a few. Upon Heather's departure, Rob, Jacob and I had to get ready for our trip to the states for Jake's baptism!

The flight from Dublin to JFK was easy peasy. Jake did great. Rob and I selected seats across the aisle from each other as we're both pretty wide people. This way we wouldn't squish anyone. But of course the flight attendants really wanted to be helpful and hounded us into using the bulkhead asile so we could use the bassinett.... which is a lovely thought if you're not pinching many inches. So we caved and ended up miserable squished next to each other for take off. BTW, the bulkhead armrests are NOT comfortable! After take off, I went and found myself another seat on an aisle close to the bulkhead. Rob stayed put to take advantage of the bassinett. Me, having still quite generous "birthing hips" needed a different seat.

Our flight out of JFK was another story. We ended up on the tarmac for a couple of hours... Jake was hungry and jetlagged so he screamed for a while and eventually fell asleep (5 mintues before we actually took off!).

The rest of the trip was fantastic. Jacob got to meet a ton of his great aunts and uncles, many second cousins, and finally got to meet Aunt Rebecca and cousins Ava and Joseph. He took a dip in the pond behind uncle Art's house and yelled for a while until he realized that it wasn't so bad, and joined us for a clambake on the beach!

Then on to Jacob's christening, which he was perfect for. No crying for MY son! He did give out a little bit when the water on his head started drying and cooling his head, but that was it. And Father Charlie did a brillant job on the christening, making it such a personal event. The christening was followed by a huge party where Jacob was given much "sugar" (as they say in Texas) and cuddles. He ended his vacation with a trip to Aunt Mary Beth and Uncle Gary's log cabin in the woods and a trip to the state fair!

So, needless to say, we're all a bit wrecked now. And while Rob and I are pretty much mostly over our jet lag, I can't say the same for the little guy who is currently passed out in his NEW BIG BOY CRIB. I suppose I should try to wake him soon.

Cutting That Cord

Ok, so today is a big day for me. Last night, as I was sitting at a cafe with a sleeping baby, and chatting to my husband on the phone discussing the night's dinner menu, I had the idea that maybe Jake could go with his daddy today to Derry to see his grandmother. I need to stay at home because, well, our 1 year anniversary is only 2 weeks away and I STILL have thank you notes to finish... which must be done before Heather gets here tomorrow or they just won't get done in time. Plus, the house is a bit of a mess (surprise!!) and I need to do laundry and get Heather's room ready (oh and much more, but we'll see how much actually gets done, I'm still a lazy bones!).

So, I pumped and pumped and got 2 1/2 feed out last night and this morning (only pumped twice so I'm chuffed, as I haven't pumped in a while). And while that won't last Jake an entire day, he can supplement with formula as needs be.

Now here I am in an empty apartment, not sure how I'm feeling. Ok, ok, I know it's good to let these kind of things happen, but I'm just not USED to have an ENTIRE day with no baby. I put a song on and then almost turned it down thinking it was too loud... then realized there was no sleeping baby in the house. Little things like that keep happening.

And of course I'm the biggest worrier out there. At the moment I'm all worried about the following:
1. Someone on the bus being sick and giving it to Jake
2. Someone in Derry or the bus passing swine flu on to Jake (I told Rob to be a jerk and insist that people wash their hands before the get to cuddle him, especially as some of those people might be health care workers who go from house to house)
3. Mary dropping the baby (I KNOW Rob will be right there watching, but I still worry)
4. Rob forgetting to put the brake on the stroller and Jake rolling down the big, long hills of Derry.

Well, those are the biggest ones. But I figure, if I worry about them, then they won't happen (here's hoping)! At least I have an understanding husband who lets me be a bit neurotic around him about my anxieties.

So there it is. Jake is off with Rob on the way to Derry and I've my day to myself. This is going to take some getting used to...

First Night Out

So Rob and I have started cutting the proverbial cord. We went out last night...without the baby! My friend had a birthday dinner at a noisy restaurant/bar, which really wouldn't have been a great place for Jake, so my friend Gillian was kind enough to babysit for us.

Honestly, it went great. Jake and Gillian had a great time and I only texted home ONCE, though Gillian was thoughtful enough to send me back a second text later... very nice.

We only stayed out for a few hours... little steps, ya know. But the dinner was YUM... not helping in the getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight!

On that note, only about 7 pounds to go, give or take the day, but I'm finding those 7 pounds the hardest. This whole breastfeeding makes you shed pounds thing is now out the window for me. It lasted maybe a month. Ah well.

The Whole Gory Story.... Finale

Well, eventually, I'm taken into another room and told to push a few times (here I don't really remember the actual order of things, but it doesn't really matter). I'm then given a pill and what I think is a small cup of water and am told it'll help neutralize the acid in my stomach. It was NOT water, and tasted like aniseed (BLECH, they could have warned me, I HATE aniseed). So of course I promptly bring it back up, along with my last dinner. Nice. They made me take another dose of the aniseed junk... SO not fair. A nice anesthesiologist man comes in and gives me an extra dose of epi, as they've decided I'm going to need to have an assisted delivery (forceps, vacuum). He tells me that the extra epi dose is for just in case they decide I need a C-section, they can do it right away without having to put me under first.

Someone hands me a form to sign to give them permission to do assisted delivery as well as the potential C-Section. I see my doctor, who is outwardly calm the entire time (if he was worried, there's no way you could tell) and tell him to do what he needs to do. I've still complete trust in him... probably his calm attitude helped.

Now, sufficiently drugged (and shaking, the epi made me shake like crazy from the waste up, which apparently is normal), I'm taken into a surgical suite and moved onto a steel surgical bed. blue paper surgery hat thing is put on my head, and I'm covered in monitor stickers, a blood pressure cuff is put on my arm and a heart rate thingy on my finger. Rob is by my head all decked out in blue that doesn't quite fit him either...including the booties. Doctor O starts at it and I have no idea what's going on because I can't see anything.

I'm told to push repeatedly. Can I now state that the way I was taught to push during the antenatal classes is NOT the way the midwife would let me push. She wanted me to hold my breath...which is exactly what the physiotherapist tells you NOT to do. These people should really talk it out!

Anyway, I push when I'm told as I can't fell the contractions. Rob tells me that Dr. O looked at him once he decided that the vacuum wasn't going to work and mouthed the word "forceps" to him. Apparently I didn't need to know. A few more pushes and Jacob was out, 7:06 AM. I later found out that if Jacob hadn't come on that last push, he was then going to do a C-Section. Thank God he came! By then I did NOT want a C-Section. Twelve hours of THIS to then have surgery! No thank you!

I saw Jacob in the arms of someone flash by me as they took him to see the pediatrician. It was a good 10 minutes before they brought him to us, the whole while I'm trying to see him through the crowd of people around him. Rob says he had oxygen on him, so his crying wasn't that loud. I do believe it took him a little while to cry though. From what I can best guess, the lengthy birth process really tired him out so he needed assistance at birth. Ok, as long as he's ok in the long run, I can handle it.

So they brought him over to us all wrapped up and was told to give him a kiss before he headed out to baby ICU (because of the gestational diabetes, he needed to be checked out there first). We both kiss him, and I say, "He looks like a Jacob William, right?" Rob agreed and there the name was settled.

I think then Rob was sent packing to get some sleep and I was put back on a bed (eventually) and was wheeled to a room to rest. I think I woke about 4 hours later (still immobile from the epi) but was given toast and some tea (lovely!). Sometime around noon I was wheeled up to one of the new-mommy wards where I shared a room with a woman who had been in the hospital for 9 weeks and who's baby was born preemie.

Rob came back to me later that day and we were allowed to go see Jacob in baby ICU. He was so tiny and red (as new babies are) but his oxygen was off and he looked good. We were allowed to put out hands into his incubator thingy. Eventually I got tired so we headed back to my room. I think I slept a lot then. I went, well, waddled back up (episiotome, baby!) and attempted to breast feed Jacob. Those midwives are MEAN, they kept on pinching my nipples. OW!!
Of course, nothing happened, but it was good to try.

Noon the next day they brought Jake to my room. Poor guy, his head was covered in scratches from all the things they did to him during the delivery... taking oxygen, attaching the monitor, vaccum and forceps. Dr. O came to visit and stated that he was really glad he didn't have to do a C Section. He reiterated that throughout the next few days... which makes me think he WAS really worried, but just didn't want to scare me. But no matter, I now am the proud mother of a healthy, gorgeous little boy... and I'm SO happy!!!!

The Whole Gory Story... Part 3

Wow, I didn't realize how long it's been between posts. I suppose having a baby on your breast CONSTANTLY makes the time go quickly!

So, where am I? I've now been given the epidural and the pain is slowly fading away. Heaven! I was then told I had to be very careful to not damage the epi line in my back... but of course the midwife is then calling me over and over to move, "Jennifer! You need to move onto your left side," "Jennifer, I need to do a pelvic exam so I need you to move onto your back." WTF! How am I supposed to not damage my line if I'm constantly in motion? And of course, as the night wore on, they had to re-up the epidural, so I then lost any ability to move my legs to help people move me. The second dose of epi-drug made me totally immobile from the waste down. Poor Rob had to move me, shove me here, pull me there. Poor guy, he really was a trooper! That's one of the difficult things about being a larger woman on an epidural, it's much more difficult for people to move you, especially when you're a dead weight.

By now I have lost all sense of time. I know it's late enough that Rob can't go and get food because everything's closed, and all that's left of what I packed for him is trail mix. Ugh.

The epi made me want to sleep...since I couldn't feel the contractions, I might as well sleep through them, right? Well, I did that as much as possible, in between being forced to move. I think Rob even got a few minutes of shut eye. And I mean FEW. But you take what you can get, right? I think the worse part for me was when the midwife woke me up because the baby's heartbeat was dropping during each contraction. They had a doctor come in twice to take a blood sample from Jacob's scalp to check the oxygen levels. Both times they were in the safe zone (second time was borderline), so I didn't really worry.

I did my best to not worry. Instead I chose to have complete faith in my doctor. I think that may have helped because you never know what your stress can do to a baby.

Happy Birthday

My baby is 1 month old today! I can't believe it! If the time is flying fast now, Lord help me! He'll be graduating from high school in 3 blinks!

Baby Slings...Any Suggestions

When I was home for Christmas, my sister-in-law Rebecca gave me her Baby Bjorn for when our baby was born. I remember using it with my niece Ava when she was 3 months old, and I thought it was really nice to be able to decorate the Christmas tree with her grabbing for the shiny baubles. But when we tried Jake in it, he screamed bloody murder. I think maybe it pulled at his legs too much since he's still so little, so he may not take to the Baby Bjorn for a while yet. But that doesn't mean I want to wait to use a baby carrier with Jake for another few months. My friends Silja and Will had slings made called Mei Tai's when they had twins, and I loved how sturdy and supportive they looked. But I have to think about my size. I really would like to have a baby carrier to use with Jake but I don't want to invest the money only to have it not fit properly. A friend's friend on Facebook loves her BabyNest as she has a big chest like I do, but I need to also think about my clothes size. So... anyone out there have a suggestion for me for a baby sling/carrier that is supportive and fits a large woman who's well endowed? I'd also like for my husband to be able to use it and he's a big guy too, and broad shouldered. Any ideas??

The Whole Gory Story...Part 2

Ok, so where we left off, I had been having prostin pains for 19 hours and the doctor had just said I was allowed to be induced.

It's now Monday evening at 7pm and I'm taken to a very nice private birthing suit. I waddle and roll my way up onto the birthday bed (which I have to point out was MUCH more comfortable than their regular beds). Dr. O and his minions poke and prod me a bit more before breaking my water...which really hurts! Out gushes a huge amount of embryonic fluid, which actually felt like a relief, but which made a huge mess. I was then asked to get out of the bed so they could change the sheets and clean the bed. When asked if I could clean off, I was told that I'd be getting much messier so there wasn't really a point. I think I was given a towel to at least dry off on.

So I lumber back onto the bed and they start the oxytocin. I ask when I can have an epidural (after 19 hours of prostin pains I realize that I'm going to need one) and am told I have to be 3 centimeters dilated before they can drug me that way. So I ask about the petadin, which I had previously said no to. I was told that they usually only let you have one or the other. Drat! I should have taken it when I had the chance!

Well, the labour pains come in strong and fast. I am given the nitrous-oxide gas to breath, which makes me a bit nauseated and dizzy, but luckily I am lying down! I remember trying very hard to do the correct breathing. After a few horrible contractions, I decide to try out my friend Valerie's advice and to sing/yell through the pain. So, I take a huge breath and yell for as long as I can. Rob said the gas mask really dampened the sound. 3 or 4 good contractions later and I'm SO ready for an epidural, and am barely coherent. I think I told Rob he's crazy if he thinks we're doing this again! It was about this time that I was told that they were short staffed so I'd have to be brought to the public ward.

I'm wheeled out of my lovely room to a public ward, and behind a curtain. To be honest, I don't remember much of the ward because my eyes were closed for most of it, and when they were open, all I saw was my side of the curtain. I do remember hearing other women whimpering in pain and felt a little guilty for the amount of sound I was producing. At least I breathed from my diaphragm and yelled with my abs! No vocal abuse here!

After about an hour (I think), I'm told I'm 1 centimeter dilated. So I calculate that I'll have to have 10 more contractions before I'm dilated enough for an epidural. I yell through them with Rob by my side, though again, I can't remember much. The nitrous-oxide gas really makes you a zombie.

Ten contractions later and I start asking for the epidural. I believe I was nice about it, unlike my next door neighbor ('gimmie the f-in epidural!'). The lovely midwives go and get the anesthesiologist on call. When he comes, I'm in the middle of a contraction. As he's preparing me for the epidural, he tells me I have to stop yelling so he can focus. That was probably the hardest thing I had to do. So I sit up to the side of the bed, wrap my arms around a pillow and whimper along through a few contractions as he sticks me full of lovely, pain numbing drugs. To be honest, I think maybe that way of dealing with the contractions was probably better than the yelling. They hurt just as much, but maybe the physiotherapist was right when teaching us how to breath properly in our antenatal class. Regardless, as much of a jackass I have in mind that anesthesiologist to be, he drugged me, so he's my hero. :)

The Whole Gory Storey...Part 1

Ok, so I finally have a few moments while Rob is watching Jacob, dad is cleaning our dishes (woo hoo!) and mom is reading a book to put down our dear son's birth story.

Sunday evening, 17th May, I went into the Coombe hospital for the induction. We got there about 6:30 and I got to my room about 7pm. Of course, my file wasn't where it should be... I think my doctor's people forgot to send it to admissions. What that meant for me, though, was that they couldn't start the induction without the file. So I sat around until about 10:30 and nothing happened. By then I was a bit frustrated because it meant spending the night in the hospital NOT going into labor. So Rob left about 10:30 and I settled down for a night of disappoinment. LUCKILY, some lovely soul did go retrieve my file, so about 11pm a doctor appeared to give me the gel, Prostin to ripen my cervix. Yippie! The gel itself was a bit tingly feeling...not QUITE stinging, but not althogether unpleasant.

After the gel, I had to stay in bed for an hour to make sure it did it's work. Of course, that's when my bladder decided it needed to be emptied. I at least made it to the end of that hour. Just about midnight, I started having 'prostin pains' which are (I assume) similar to some beginning contration pains. For me, they lasted about 20 seconds and came 2-5 minutes apart. Now, one or two of these pains isn't really all that bad. But by noon on Monday, I was pretty fed up with them; kind of like Chinese water torture. My doctor came in later that day to check (poke around) my cervix (that time the examination hurt) and decided to give me another dose of Prostin.

Can I just stop here a moment and comment on my newfound hatred of the fetal monitor machines? I think they should rename them the pregnant woman torture device. I was put on this damned monitor several times during my stay. Each time, I was asked to hold one of the monitor bits in place to make sure they could maintain the heartbeat. Which is all well and good, until they come back 30 mintues later (after saying they'd be back in 20 minutes), your back is aching now and your arm is about to fall off from pressing the monitor on your belly. The midwife THEN says, 'oh, let's give it a few more minutes,' and disappears for another half hour! Grrrr. I am NOT a fan.

Alright, back to the story. I have now been having 'prostin pains' for 19 hours (ow ow ow ow ow!!), have decided against taking the petadin morphine shot, been given one more painful vaginal assault and have FINALLY been told they can break my waters....

I suppose you want my details too...

Wow, I'm a horrible blogger now that baby's arrived. But that's normal, right? I noticed I hadn't even given ANY details about Jake's birth! How horrible of me! Ok, so without further ado, may I introduce:
Jacob William Grundulis
May 19, 2009
7:06 AM
7 pounds, 11 1/2 ounces (or 3.5 kilos)

We're both so very much in love with our little monkey. He's just so amazing and I'm so happy to have him in my life.

Congratulations Lisa, Brian and Jack!

My cousin Lisa gave birth on Sunday to a beautiful baby girl, Kate. I'm thrilled to have another cousin in the family! And I love that we both had the name Mae on the mind as a middle name (but as Jacob came out a boy, we didn't use the name). So here are the specs:

Katharine Mae Marshall
Born: Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 1:44 p.m.
7 pounds, 5 ounces
19.5 inches long

A BIG lovely congrats to Lisa and her family.

As for me, Jake is 3 weeks old today and I'm so in love. I WILL get ar0und to writing the whole gorey story sometime soon, but I've been busy with baby, as well as having mom and dad with us here. Uncle Carl was here for 5 days this week, which was great as well. We took Jacob to Derry to meet his other Grandma Mary, who instantly fell in love... who can resist that face! Which reminds me I need to post pictures here! Let me see what I can do...
Ok, here's Jacob in hospital. I LOVE his toes!!!

Just About Packed

I've gotten everything buy my toiletries together, and now need to finish up the baby bag.  I go in tonight at 6:30 where they will get me started by ripening my cervix first.  I have no idea when they'll start the oxytocin to begin the contractions.  My guess is baby will be born sometime tomorrow. I'm praying that my labor isn't too long, though I know they can go on quite a while, especially with first pregnancies, and even more especially with epidurals (oh yes, I've decided I think epidurals are a very good thing).  I'm all nervous because I'm one of those people who thinks about everything that can go wrong, so I'm just trying to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.  Think about holding the baby in my arms and praying for a safe delivery at the moment!

The Time is Nigh

Well, tomorrow, I go in to be induced! My doctor decided rather than waiting for baby to get too big and for something to go wrong, he'd rather induce at 38 weeks. Well, I'm 38 weeks today! Tara came over and helped with a MAMMOTH unpacking/cleaning effort to prepare the bedrooms. She is a saint and my current hero. :) So now I have to pack for the hospital and prepare for baby. My cousin's wife Monica told me to do something fun today, so I'm trying to decide what that should be, aside from sleep. Maybe we'll go see a movie or something, to get out of the house one last time.

Ok, so my carpal tunnel is kicking in, so I'm going to go rest a bit before lunch. I'll take any and all prayers and happy vibes for a SAFE delivery and a HEALTHY baby!

Battle of the Nursing Bras- Part IV

This week's bra is the plus size wrap nursing bra that's perfect for sleeping. This bra is $15.98 from Motherhood.

I find this bra very comfortable, though it gives absolutely no support. Not surprising, though, as it's meant for sleeping. The criss cross pattern at the front is a bit weird, and when I lie on my side, I feel like I'm going to fall out of the bra, so I do find myself adjusting myself a bit. BUT, it IS quite easy to access for breastfeeding...no clips or snaps, just pull the fabric down. All that being said, this definitely would NOT be the bra to light your honey's fire. My hubby found it extremely unattractive!


Comfort- 5
Support- 1.5
Need For Adjustment-3
Sex Appeal/ Attractiveness- 1
Ease of Breast Exposing- 5

Total-15.5 points

Best Gift

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I received the best gift in the post from my matron of honor, Tina. It was a mother's day card. Needless to say I bawled. It was so nice to be recognized as a mother and the card was so gorgeous and fitting. So, happy mother's day to all you mommy's and mommy's to be. We are so blessed.

Survival of the Un-Fittest

Oh dear, today is going to tax me something terrible. I mean, I'm EXCITED about today, but I'm also dreading it. My gospel choir is performing tonight, and as I'm the director, I have a LOT to do today. Rob and I will be leaving the apartment about 10am today to get to church, and there's a communion today. After mass, around 12:30-ish, my gospel choir is going to sing outside the church to advertise the concert. I then have time to EAT and relax before we have to set up the sound system at 3. 4pm is our sound check/dress rehearsal, and 5:15 the other groups come for their sound checks. 6:30 doors open and 7pm is go time. I think the SMARTEST thing I did for today was ask multiple performers to sing with us. That means, instead of me having to stand in front of the choir for 2 hours, I only have to do it for about 45 minutes. That being said, though, we've been performing around a bit lately, doing 4 songs here, 4 songs there... and I am WRECKED after 4 songs. Today's about 10+ songs!!! So, anyone out there who has pity on a SERIOUSLY huge pregnant woman, please send me on your energy and unswollen ankle vibes today. I'm going to need it!!!!

Full Term

Ok, not to freak myself out or anything... but today I am officially 37 weeks pregnant.... full term!! Basically, I COULD go into labor at any time. EEK!!! Well, EEK and HURRAY! Now I'm just going to worry until there's a healthy baby in my arms. I'm so bad at thinking about all the things that can go wrong. So I'll just keep chanting, "healthy baby, healthy birth" over and over. :)

Lucky Girl

Wow, I am really lucky. A few days ago I was brooding over not getting to have a baby shower, and I walk into my flat last night to find my friends with balloons, blow-outs, and baby cake! Tara got sneaky on me...and Rob kept it a secret! It really meant a lot to me to be able to celebrate with my friends before baby comes. And I'm now stocked up on baby wipes for at least, well, a few weeks? ;)

New Development

So now with the baby getting so much larger, it must be sitting on some nerve. My fingertips are now usually missing some sensation, and when I sleep, I've started to wake up with numb hands, or at least 3 numb fingers. I read that pregnant women can get a form of carpal tunnel and I wonder if this is part of that. I might have to read up on that again and ask my Dr. next time I'm in.

Things That Suck

Being away from my family is starting to really suck. I've got less than a month left and I miss my family a lot. I don't have my mom that I can drive over to and visit, and although I've got fantastic friends here, there's nothing like having your mom nearby. My business partner Tara has recognized this, being from the states as well. She's lucky to at least have her in-laws in the same town. And while Rob's mom has started getting excited about being a grandmother, she's 4 hours away and has physical impairments that would keep her from spending alone time with the baby. Tara's been great, though, and has offered to be my surrogate mother in law, whenever I need a break, etc. Which is really nice.

I guess the main thing is, I feel like I'm missing out on the American pregnancy experience. I'm on an online group from baby gaga.com and every once in a while a girl will post, 'Hurray! Today's my baby shower!' I don't get to say that. In Ireland, you'd be jinxing the pregnancy to have a shower before the baby's born. For me, I feel like I'm missing out on a preperatory step to motherhood. I've got a girl at work who's asked me a few times, 'when's your baby shower!?' I hate having to say, 'I don't know, maybe there'll be a party after the baby's born?' It's just one of prices I pay for living in Ireland, I suppose. I guess I'm just getting overwhelmed with everything left to do... and it's not like I've felt ANY urge to nest to get me up and going. I still have to buy a carseat, bedding for the moses basket, crib mattress and bedding, baby's dresser and who knows what else. It'd be nice to have mom here to look over what we've got and say, 'right, Jen, this is what you still need, let's got shopping!'

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!

This is choice!! While driving home today, Rob and I encountered a road block of garda. As my tax on my car is out of date, I was sure of being pulled over. Just to note, I AM taking care of the tax. So sure enough, I was asked to pull aside. I told the garda that I had in fact taken care of the tax and was awaiting the new paperwork. Out he pulls a BREATHALYZER!!!! Yes, ladies, I was breathalyzed at 8 months pregnant!!! Hee hee hee hee! The road block was for the bank holiday, make sure people weren't driving drunk, they just saw my tax and pulled my regardless...and then felt compelled to check a significantly pregnant woman's blood alcohol level. Needless to say, I received a score of zero. It kinda made my day, though...like being carded after the age of 30. It was a bit surreal to be honest. I'm still giggling over it!

Countdown Is On

As of yesterday, I'm one month until due date!

New Sandles!!

Bliss! I finally made it to my plus size shop, Evans, to hunt down some shoes that fit properly. A couple days ago I crossed the street to the local mall (handy!) to have a search for wide fit shoes, with NO luck. Well, that's not totally true, Clarks did sell wide shoes for 70 euro. But come on, how much do I want to spend on shoes I'll wear for a month? So since I was in town today, I popped into Evans who ONLY sell wide fit shoes. I got myself 2 pairs of sandals (one black, one brown) so I now have shoes that aren't too tight! If it rains, I'm still stuck in sandals, but this is MUCH better than the alternative tight shoes. Bliss!

Sausages

No, I'm not trying to make my carniverous friends drool. My feet have now decided it's time to swell to the size of sausages. I knew swollen feet came with pregnancy, and I suppose I'm lucky it took this long for it to happen, but I have no shoes to wear!! I wore flip flops today, but that's not necessarily a good choice for Irish weather. I might have to get out and buy an oversized pair of shoes I can wear for the rest of the pregnancy.

On a different note, I think I've an alien in my belly. Either that or a disco dancer. Good Lord!!!

24 Hours Out

What a thrill when the diabetes midwife told me I could go home last night! I almost cried! I was starting to get really fed up with being in the hospital... and so BORED! But they let me out about 5pm last night. Sweet freedom! I've been home now just over 24 hours and have been doing the diet and insulin here. So far so good, though sometimes I think my bloods are higher than they should be. I still have to work at getting a good balance on my plate and watch out for too many carbs. It's kind of like a pseudo-Atkins going on, though I can have more varied fruits, I would say. I've got some Easter candy in the freezer for baby's birthday! Can't WAIT! Not only to actually eat chocolate again, but to finally hold my baby.

Does Not Go With Toothpaste

I just went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I back out and there's a diet yogurt waiting for me, which I'm not supposed to skip. Blech! Toothpaste and yogurt with fake sugar taste! Noooooo!!!!

Celtic Chocolate

So, is it bad that I don't want to ask my dietician about this 'no sugar added' chocolate I found in fear that she gives it the 'no go'? It's SO good!!!

The Day Thus Far

Well, I spent the night in the hospital, waking up throughout the night, as expected. You'd think they'd make hospital beds more comfortable! I spent the day taking my blood sugar levels, eating and talking to midwifes and diabetic specialists. I had a baby scan, which was good, and they measured the weight and size of baby. At the moment, baby is on the high side of average...phew! It's possible that waiting any longer to deal with the GD would make baby pack on the weight. So baby is about 5 pounds 10 oz at the moment, though that's a best guess as my bigger belly makes it more difficult to be accurate.

BUT, heartbeat is still good and there's plenty of movement! The little poop even started the scan head down, but decided to go transverse part way through, and was breech by the time I was back in my bed with the midwives trying to find the heartbeat for a monitoring session! I THINK baby's back to being head down, as there seems to be more butt above my naval at the moment. :)

I had a few meetings with the diabetic midwife who showed myself and the other newly diagnosed mums how to use the insulin pens and when and where to use them. We learned about going hypoglycemic as well...which I remember oh so vividly from when my previous flatmate Mike used to go hypo on me and I'd have to stuff glucose gel into his mouth. I'm planning on managing a bit more accurately than that though.

Last convo with the D.M. found that I'm not going to have to start off with insulin injections 4 times a day, but just in the morning, and then a long acting one at night, which is nice. It's likely though, that as the pregnancy progesses, my hormones will increase, making the need for more insulin likely. But it's a start. I'm anxious to get started to make sure I'm doing right by baby.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Hello from the Coombe Maternity Hospital in Dublin!

No, I haven't had the baby yet, I've been admitted to the hospital for a blood sugar series. Basically, they take a vial of blood once before and after each meal for 24. I also have to do a finger prick to test my blood sugar eat time as well and keep track in a glucose diary. This will help the endocrinologist decide if I need insulin and if so, how much. I'm assuming I'll have to have insulin as the diabetic chief midwife lady, Ethna, has already handed me loads of information on insulin... and these people generally know before the doctors do!

So far, I've been stuck 6 times in a vein in my left arm. Two of those sticks didn't work, but just added to the track marks being left. Apparently, my veins are superficial... which is fine by me as long as the rest of me is not!

I've decided, as an homage to my stay here, that I'm going to wild release a Christopher Moore book, 'Bloodsucking Fiends' somewhere in the hospital sometime tomorrow. A kind of good humored nod to my stay here. Hmm, maybe it's poetic that I chose to bring with me the Twilight series number three book 'Eclipse' to read while here?? I still have one more vial of blood to go tonight, and then two in the morning!

But, all's not THAT bad. I ended up with a PRIVATE room (loving my health insurance right now). I've heard the public ward can be a bit difficult to deal with and that it's hard to get any sleep. So I'm quite chuffed to have a room all to myself where I don't have to worry about leaving my purse unattended while I go to the bathroom. Also, I got to hear baby's heartbeat today. They strapped me to the baby heartbeat monitoring machine, so I got a nice 20 minutes of locomotive sounding beats to lull me into a trance. Midwife Rosanne said it looked good.

My blood pressure was up, though, but I am attributing this to being in hospital, a bit weary and nervous for what they'll say tomorrow. It probably didn't help that I was listening to baby's heartbeat, which is much faster. My second BP was lower, and my last one was MUCH better, 128/86...though I don't like the 86, that's still higher than usual for me.

Rob came for a visit and I send him off about 45 minutes ago to go home and get some food. I'm hoping to be out by about noon tomorrow, but I'm now not holding my breath. From what I understand, they want to also do a scan to check baby's weight, and then if Dr. Endocrinologist decides I need insulin, I may have to stay another night to make sure I react fine to it.

So that's the story at the moment! At least I have nice new comfy clothes from Motherhood to wear (thanks to Tara's mum for bringing them to me!).

Battle of the Nursing Bras- Part III

It's been a while since I've reviewed a bra, so let me get back into the swing of things. This week's bra is the plus size sports soft cup with no underwire. This bra is $20.98 from Motherhood.

I have to say, in general, I really like wearing this bra. It's very comfortable and I don't feel I have to adjust it very much. The t-back makes me feel very secure. My husband found it extremely functional and un-sexy, though. And the straps ride a bit closer to your neck, so you can wear scoop necklines with this bra. But if it's comfort and support you're going for, then I'd recommend this bra. Can I give it two boobs up?

This bra does come with plastic clasps for ease of breast feeding, but they are the same clasps on our previous bra. So basically, it'll take more practice before I'll ever be able to expose myself with one hand.

So, how did Ms. Bog Standard fair:

Comfort- 5
Support- 4.5
Need For Adjustment-4
Sex Appeal/ Attractiveness- 1
Ease of Breast Exposing- 3.5

Total-18 points

Update

Ok, so I've been crap lately at keeping updates! This past month has been hectic and life is finally (temporarily, I suppose) settling down. Rob and I moved into our new PHAT apartment, overlooking the mountains as well as Dublin City Centre. It's pretty amazing. Rob's birthday was last weekend as well, and we had a birthday party/ housewarming in our new flat. I'm hoping the weather warms up soon so we can begin enjoying our balcony.

Though we're moved in, we're still not unpacked, and now that I'm 7 months out, I'm tired a lot of the time, especially when I come home from work. I'm blessed to have such a wonderful husband who is doing the majority of the unpacking. I really need to start helping out more. Where is this whole "nesting" thing? Shouldn't I have it by now?? Sure, I have a desire for things to get done, but not the energy to do them myself! Not good, I know.

So yesterday I had a glucose tolerance test...the 3 hour one. I assumed I'd have one at 28 weeks, which is standard, but that never happened. My doctor decided to err on the side of caution and order one. My blood pressure had been fine, which is great, but I he wanted to make sure the whole sugar thing was alright as well.

Well...I failed the test. I like to think that maybe I was just eating too many white carbs and had too much sugar the past week. But for now, I'm on a no sugar added diet. Luckily, the endocrinologist feels that the levels of sugar in my blood were only slightly elevated, so I don't have to go on insulin...Thank God! Of course, this might change come Tuesday as they are going to retest me. So, hopefully this week of eating properly and cutting out sugar as much as possible will show that keeping this up will be all I need to do to curb my blood sugar level.

This does mean, though, that I will more than likely be induced prior to my due date. I've got just under 8 weeks to go (eek!), and often, those of us in this situation will deliver between 38-39 weeks. Which means my parents will be here for a full 2 weeks with the baby! Yippie! Always looking at the bright side, eh?

So I had a conversation with the dietician this morning and am pretty on ball with everything. I have to eat similarly to Weight Watchers, which is fairly easy for me, I just have to look out for hidden sugars. She told me that sugar substitutes are fine, but I'm not too sure about that. I'll try to limit that to Splenda and sucralose as the other fake sugars scare me, especially in regards to baby. Luckily, corn tortillas are OK! Hurray for crunchy tacos!! I do have to limit my milk intake, as the lactose isn't great. That stinks as my main craving is milk, but well, you do what you have to do. Baby needs me to get back on the ball and stay healthy, so that's what I'm going to do.

My Love Affair With Chocolate

I recently learned that my unhealthy relationship with chocolate is genetic! When my mom was pregnant, she used to tell dad that they needed milk, and she'd head out to the shop, but 2 or 3 candy bars and scarf them down on the way home!! Now I know why as a child I would always try to sneak as much candy as I could get my hot little hands on! My mom sneaking chocolate with me in utero has made me the chocolate fiend (and childhood candy snatcher) that I am today! My kids don't stand a chance!!

This is totally how I feel- Week 28

Thanking kindly baby-gaga.com

Third Trimester!!

As of tomorrow, I will offically be SIX MONTHS PREGNANT! The third trimester has come, baby! So now I get to start freaking out about being a parent soon. Crap! What am I thinking! And there's still way too much to do! I'm not saying that I'd like a pregnancy to last LONGER, but it would be nice to have a FEW more preparation months...

Antenatal Class

I had my first antenatal class today. Apparently at my hospital, they've split up the classes between two bodies... the physical therapists and the parent information. So I'm now on my physical therapy classes where we learn about pain, stretching, posture, labor and so on. It was actually quite nice to be in a room full of pregnant bellies. I have a few pregnant friends here, but we've yet to get together to compare notes (better get on that!). So chatting about pregnancy issues was really pleasant. The PT who did the class is the one I'm seeing one on one for my hip...which is just a little tender. It's too bad that partners aren't allowed in these sessions, though, as I'd really like Rob to be able to go and learn about these stages.... not sure how much I'll remember!!

I just found out today that I will start my parent info classes NEXT week! And Rob gets to go to those! Already my life is revolving around this little devil! I've got a PT appointment Monday morning, parent info classes Tues morning and PT classes Wed morning and GP baby visit Thur morning! When am I going to see the inside of my office to get some work done!

I've decided....

...that this whole flipping-back-and-forth-all-night-long-instead-of-sleeping thing is God's way of preparing you for the upcoming sleepless nights.

This Whole Weight Gaining Thing

I'm sure this is similar for all women, but I'm starting to hate gaining all this weight! For someone who lost over 40 pounds, to then gain a lot of it back is really annoying. I know it's all for the baby but I don't think I EVER felt so much like a cow as I do now.

Stairs are the worst. When I gained weight previously, it was always over an extended period of time and I couldn't necessarily feel the effects. But I can certainly feel them now. Walking up stairs is such a pain..I can FEEL the extra weight pressing me down. I never felt this way when I was naturally this heavy.

And then there's bedtime. Up and down, side to side...ugh! I find myself flipping back and forth from one side of the belly to another to keep my upper arms from falling asleep. But the whole flipping aspect is quite difficult. Now I have to flip an ever growing...and an ever heavier belly over as well, making the task that much more difficult. No wonder I'm tired all the time!

But I suppose I need to look at the up sides. Baby has started kicking to the point where I can feel it when it kicks my hand. That's pretty cool. I suppose I don't feel it as much as others what with my anterior placenta and all, but it is definitely fantastic. And, I'm nearing my 3rd trimester. Only 3 months to go!

Battle of the Nursing Bras- Part II

The battle has begun!! My question to the general pregnant public is, how good at plus sized nursing bras for the larger woman? Did the bra company just make the bra bigger or did they actually spend the time to support our larger breasts properly?

Each bra will be rated from 1 to 5 (5 being highest) in each of 5 categories for a possible total of 25 points:

1. Comfort- How do I feel when wearing the bra? Does it annoy me at all?

2. Support- Am I flapping in the breeze or do I feel properly supported?

3. Need For Adjustment- Do the straps fall constantly? Do I feel the need to pull at the back frequently?

4. Sex Appeal/ Attractiveness- Whats my husbands view of me in the bra?

5. Ease of Breast Exposing- Well, these ARE for nursing, so how easily can I extract my breast from the cup for the purpose of breast feeding?

This week, I am putting the bog standard plus size nursing bra, non-underwire under the radar. This bra is $21.98 from Motherhood.

When I first put the bra on, it felt really good. I was a bit weary of the stretchy shoulder straps, but if shortened enough, they held their place fairly well. That being said, I felt the need to adjust and tug at the back of the bra if the straps were too short. On the flip side, if the straps were longer, the support was lacking, so there was a bit of a Catch 22. My husband liked the initial support when presented to him (but then his wife hasn't been in the mood for much bra showing lately, so his rating this week could have been in gratitude). This bra, like the other Motherhood bras, has a plastic hook/snap at each breast. I found it easy to unhook with opposite hands, but I wasn't well able to re-hook, say the right cup with the right hand. Re-hooking really was a two hand job.

So, how did Ms. Bog Standard fair:

Comfort- 4
Support- 3.5
Need For Adjustment-3
Sex Appeal/ Attractiveness- 3
Ease of Breast Exposing- 3.5

Total-17 points

So here's our standard for the rest of the bras to go by.

Ladies, please feel free to send me in some ratings of your own using this scale...just let us know where you bought the bra and how much it cost for those who might like to get one. Send me a message and I'll post your review in a blog.

Cheers!
Jen

The Belly Touching Controversy (and poll)

At the moment, I have to admit I don't really care if people touch my belly. But to be honest, the only people who have done so are my friends. But I'm curious how other people feel. Check out the bottom of the page and vote for your preference when it comes to others patting your bump.

My Ever Expanding Arse

I know this is a problem for all pregnant women, but for myself, who started off with a large one, I'm finding the fact that my bum is getting bigger every day quite frustrating. Sitting in a movie theatre, for one, is not as comfortable, and forget airplanes! I just flew to NY and back to see my mom after her surgery and those flights were possibly the worst for comfort ever! On the flight to the US, the armrests didn't go up all the way, which was awful for comfort.

But, on the positive side, I've become a fan of Aer Lingus' old planes. My flight back was on the plane named St. Padraig (St. Patrick in English, Aer Lingus names all their planes after Irish saints). This plane didn't have TV's for every seat, but the armrests went up farther... AND, it was the first time in a LONG while that I didn't have to ask for a seatbelt extension! What bliss to be able to buckle the seatbelt without extra material! And pregnant to boot! How funny to me that as the travelling world's bums expand, the airlines seatbelts get generally shorter. Thank God for old planes.

Preggy Pose

I've found a way to subdue my belly bump envy! By putting my hands on my back, by belly pops out for an obvious pregnant look! The new shirt I'm wearing in this pic helps too. I got it from Mothercare and it made my belly pop pretty well on it's own. Of course, I'm sure come May I'll be ready for that belly to be THIS size again! :)

New Pillow!

LOVE my dad! He took me to Babies R Us to get me another Boppy pillow wedge. But I decided to get this bad boy instead. This one is the 'Especially For Mom' pillow wedge. It feels a bit more firm, which I think my ever heavier bump needs for support. So far I'm a fan... it even helps prop my back up when I try to roll onto my back to sleep. The Boppy doesn't keep my sideways as well.

I'm considering a full body pillow as well, but I definitely want one that's head to toe.

Oh yes!

I forgot to mention! Now that I'm home in the states for the week, my father is going to take me back to Babies R Us to get another belly wedge pillow! Happy days for MEEEE! I'm also going to seriously consider the body pillow that you can cuddle that also is long enough and curves so you can stuff it between your knees. Luckily, I didn't pack much so I have room in my suitcase. :)

Say Yes To Flight Socks

With permission from my doctors here in Ireland, I boarded a plane in Dublin to JFK to visit my mother after her radical surgery. BTW, she's doing REALLY well and thank you all for your continued prayers. But I digress. My doctor gave me a prescription for socks that patients in hospitals often wear to avoid deep vein thrombosis, or DVT. This can happen on flights, and I'm sure many of you have seen flight socks sold in CVS or other pharmacies. Well, I've never bought the over the counter type, but I LOVED the ones I got! The pharmacist measured my calf and thigh to make sure I got the right size. What was unique about these socks vs. the ones you get over the counter, is that these went all the way up to my bum! So they not only supported my calves but my entire leg. I felt much better throughout the flight. I will admit, though, that by the end of the 7 hour journey, I was ready for those puppies to come off, as the elastic at the top can...chaff... your sensitive bits. But on the whole, they were certainly worth it. My legs didn't swell up and look like they were going to pop (like they did after my wedding on the way to Aruba) and they felt much less tight. I would highly suggest these for all pregnant ladies or even just plus sized people of all ages who need to take a long haul flight. So ask your doctor for the REAL ones!

Battle of the Nursing Bras

While I was home for Christmas, I bought a selection of nursing bras as I didn't trust my ability to find decent ones in Ireland. I can't find decent REGULAR bras for plus sized women in Dublin, so how would I ever find NURSING bras! Some of the books I read suggested that I might want to being wearing them before the baby comes as they are more supportive and such. Well, we'll see. Are these bras for plus sized mommies really more supportive or are they just enlarged versions of the skinny mom's bras? Would we be better off sticking with our Lane Bryant's finest?

So, over the next few weeks, I'm going to battle it out between 4 nursing bras bought at Motherhood in Syracuse, NY. I tried them all one before purchase, but as well big mama's know, you really need to WEAR a bra before you know how well it feels.

The four style of bra to be included in the battle are:
1. The normal old nursing bra
2. The racer back sports nursing bra
3. The lacey-sexy underwire nursing bra
4. The night time sleeping nursing bra

I'll even throw in a black sheep, the NORMAL, big lady, non-nursing bra as number 5 for good measure!

Each of these 5 bras will be rated on it's comfort, support, need to be adjusted constatanly, ease of unsnapping for nursing and attractiveness.

Let the battle begin!!

Idiosyncracies

I don't know about you, but I've noticed that since getting pregnant, I sneeze at least once a day. It's the most bizarre thing. I know that the membranes or such in your nose tend to constrict when you're pregnant, making nose breathing more difficult for many, but I didn't expect it to make me sneeze all the time!

On a personal note, my mother is having surgery today to combat cancer, so I'm a bit of a bag a weasles and have been telling everyone so they can pray for her. I know it'll go fine and I have trust that it will be a successful surgery, I just wish I could be there. Maybe my growing belly would give her something to smile about after surgery!

But on an EXCITING note, I have my big 20 week scan tomorrow (though I'm 22 weeks)! I'm actually glad I'm doing it a few weeks late as the baby will be bigger and hopefully be easier to see through all my excess fat. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the full bladder I'm supposed to have during the scan. I HATE that gotta pee feeling!

Love Me, Love My Pillows

When I went home for Christmas, my mother took me to Babie's R Us to have me pick out a diaper bag as a baby gift. While there, we came across the Boppy Pregnancy Wedge Pillow that is meant to support your belly while you are sleeping on your side. I had read that a woman's best friends are her pillows while she is pregnant, so I thought this might be a good thing to have for my belly as it gets bigger.

I couldn't have been more right. This thing has made my sleeping life so much more pleasant. I can wedge it right under my belly, which really has been keeping my hip from hurting! The problem is, I really want another one for my other side. I'm a sleep on my back kinda girl, so i tend to toss and turn now that I have to sleep on my side. So I go back and forth between my left and right sides all night long. What that means is I have to bring the Boppy with me every time I turn...which as you can imagine is a big pain. So now I want another one that I can just wedge in to my other side so it'll be there, waiting for me as I flip over, as welcoming as an old friend.

I really have been amazed at how much I love pillows right now. I sleep with two under my head, one between my knees (ladies who don't do this, DO IT!!!), the Boppy on one side, and then one to hug which makes me happy. Last night, I added another pillow to the alternative side of the Boppy to support me if I want to lean back on it to "pretend" I'm sleeping on my back, and for the most part (barring the time I woke up nauseous, long story), I slept like...well, a baby.

Meet the Dietician

My first meeting with my obstetrician, I asked about diet, as I'm concerned about (well, in THIS case):
1. Gaining too much weight
2. High blood pressure
3. Gestational diabetes

I really want to try and have a good diet to avoid as many pregnancy complications as possible. So, he set me up with a dietician.

I had my appointment with her today which was really good. She said what I'm eating in general is pretty good but that I should limit the amount of milk I drink to 700 millileters per day.... did I mention I'm craving milk? Too much milk isn't good because of the sugar in milk, apparently! Her basic thing for me was for me to try and avoid or limit sugars. She wants me to eat 2 portions of red meat a week, which I usually don't do, but she felt the iron intake was important... so I'll try. I have her number so I can ring her when I need to, which is nice.

What I really liked, was her confidence in her knowledge. As you know, a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and I found myself asking her about unpasturized honey, eggs, mayonaise, peanuts and Ribena. She said that she's annoyed with those who hear something and then go and write a huge article about it, scaring people and giving them wrong information.

Like honey, I read to avoid unpasturized honey. Where the hell do you find that? Ok, here's the fact as per my dietician. For the first year to 2 years of a babies life, they do not have enough acid in their stomach to eat up the bits of botulism in honey, but an adults stomach does. So you don't give honey to a baby, but to eat it while pregnant is fine. Yippie!

Or peanuts: The research they've done on peanuts is inconclusive because those in the study already had a history of peanut allergy in their family. So maybe you should avoid eating peanuts if there are people in your family that have allergies.

So, I have to say, I'm a fan of my dietician. She even put up with my bitch that it took me 30 mintues to find a parking space and that it's a saftey hazard as you're waiting in the middle of the road to pull into their parking lot and if you were hit by a car waiting, the hospital could technically be liable...etc.

What Have You Done With My Energy!?

I remember reading all the books I bought upon finding out that I was pregnant, that the first three months are a very tired 3 months. Your body is starting to create a placenta which takes a lot of energy and makes every pregnant woman very tired. Yup. I definitely had that. But when does it go away? I though my energy was getting better but these past few weeks I've been wrecked. I'm assuming Baby is just having a growth spurt or something, but when does it end!? I get home from work, and if I sit down...it's all over. Yesterday I fell asleep around 6pm and woke up to eat some dinner and watch TV a bit.

I know i need to just force myself to get out and walk around a bit...or join the community rec centre down the road for their Wednesday aqua aerobics. Now that I've thought it, I suppose the next step is to actually DO it.

I want my energy back.

Missing Out

Thursday night, my company hosted an informal information meeting for parents of the students who come to our classes. One of the mom's who came as been with us for just about a year now and I'm very fond of her family. I haven't seen this mom since July, when I headed home for my wedding, so we had a nice chat and I told her I was 20 weeks pregnant. She opens up her jacket and states 'I'm 25 weeks!' and there before me is the PERFECT baby bump! Now, this mom is little to begin with, but this bump is round and just lovely.

It is normal to be envious of a woman's baby bump? I do admit it is one thing that I feel I'm missing out on. Being that I already had a sizable bump prior to becoming pregnant, I don't feel I look as pregnant as other women. Or at least, people will most likely attribute my growing bump as a 'fat bump' and not a 'pregnant bump.' I do wish for that perfect bump, one that people will see which instantly shouts PREGNANT to those around. Instead, I've got the bump that people won't come up to with a huge 'congratulations' for a fear of hurting my feelings. I have to wait for that congrats until after I state 'I'm pregnant.' THEN do I get the laud, but only then.

So now I find myself starting jealously at the woman at the doctors with their bumps out to high heaven and their skinny rest-of-self. What would I give for someone I don't know to automatically just know that I'm pregnant. I keep on hoping that as the pregnancy progresses, that my baby belly will become more obvious and that at least one or two people will assume I'm pregnant without worrying they're wrong.

Milk and Muffins

So far, I really haven't had a huge cravings hit. Either that, or I'm not sure what to expect. I kind of figured I'd suddenly have an urge to consume a certain type of food that I must have NOW or be miserable forever without. But maybe I should expect a more subtle craving? For example, the other night at our BookCrossing Ireland meetup, someone mentioned muffins, and I thought to myself (kinda like Monica when she was in the bubble bath with Chandler), 'muffins? I could go for muffins.' Rob and I then headed out to a corner shop after the meetup to consume muffins. Yum! Since then, I smell baked goods everywhere.

My other craving at the moment has to be milk, or really dairy products in general, but mainly milk. And not skim milk, which I usually drink. For some reason, skim milk has become not enough for me, so I've gone up to 'low fat' milk, which seems to do the trick at the moment. I'm assuming Baby is telling me I need calcium, or such.

I have to say, though, I mostly concerned about eating too much of the wrong thing to encourage a trigger in gestational diabetes. I know that it is much more likely that I will get gestational diabetes as a large pregnant woman, and I would like to do what I can to avoid it. Unfortunately, the books pretty much say to get rid of sugar. Eating sugar can increase the size of your baby and trigger gestational diabetes. So, unfortunately, I cannot follow in the footsteps of my mother here and gorge on Reese's Peanut Butter Cups like I'd LOVE to. I do have a very serious sweet tooth (which is probably a strong reason for why I'm obese in the first place) and would love nothing more than to sit down with a tin of Cadbury's Roses (if you've never had them, you MUST!!!), but I'm doing my best to think of the baby.

At the moment, I haven't been able to give up on sweets altogether, but am trying to only have them in significant moderation and only when I've already eaten something. Eating sugar on an empty stomach only makes your blood sugar spike which can't be good for baby. I wish I read that earlier in my pregnancy, but well, I can't worry about that now. I just need to focus on the weeks ahead.

Morning Sickness

I was surprisingly lucky my first trimester....no morning sickness! Speaking to my mother, she told me she never had any either, so I guess I must have some good genes in there somewhere. I never did have to run to the bathroom. The nausea hit me more subtly, I suppose. When my stomach was empty, I would feel sick, which would make me not want to eat anything. So then when I forced myself to eat something, I would feel more nauseated for a while, but nothing ever came up, thankfully.

I've heard many horror stories about morning sickness and was just waiting for it to come. I'm supposing this has more to do with genetics then with my size, but I did read that taking a B complex vitamin and eating little but often to make sure your stomach always has something in it does help to reduce nausea. It apparently worked for me!

I'm still trying to do the little but often approach to eating. Actually, I find that I can't eat much at one sitting now anyways. Rob will put a meal in front of me, and I can only eat half of what I used to eat (which is probably a good thing) before my stomach starts screaming at me to stop. My only concern is that I do actually get enough calories for the baby. I'm sure I am, as I'm probably used to what a big person eats and am not used to normal portions. If only I could hire myself a personal chef to teach me all about portions for a month. But so far, having multiple meals has seemed to work. I never get too hungry (well, that's not quite true, sometimes at work I don't get lunch early enough and then I become the big pregnant hunger bitch), but I'm usually pretty good at keeping something in my stomach. So for now it looks like that's the method I'll be sticking with.

Did You Know?

According to a British obstetrician I saw on TV the other night, that occasionally, a woman will be too large for just one birthing table, and they'll have to put two together. I think that might just be my newest nightmare. I can't remember the name of the doctor, or the news program for that matter, but at least I can blame it on what I call Baby Brain! It is amazing how stupid this kid is making me. I've always had a bit of a problem with remembering words, but now, I'm forgetting words, events, people ALL the time! When I have one of these 'pregnancy moments' I find myself telling people, 'sorry, baby's eating my brains.'

Oh yes, and FYI, it is perfectly acceptable to ask the person taking your blood pressure for the large pressure cuff. They DO exsist and they are MUCH more comfortable...well, I suppose as comfortable as getting your blood pressure taken can be...

Best Day of My Life

The best day of my life, I remember very clearly. October 6, 2008. I remember that date because it was the day I cut off 16 inches of my hair to donate to Locks of Love in honor of my mother who had been diagnosed with cancer 4 days before my wedding. It was the day I peed on a stick that told me I was expecting a baby.

Most people say that their wedding day is the best day of their life, and mine was pretty darned good, but to be honest, it was hampered by the news of my mom's upcoming ordeals. But, her and my father were by my side, I had my amazing friends and family around me, and I was marrying the man I love... so all in all, it was worth it. :)

To me, though, the moment that digital EPT stick blinked on 'pregnant,' my eyes flooded with tears of joy. Just remembering the moment gets me a little bleary. I have to admit, I am one lucky woman. I did not even imagine that I would get pregnant so easily! Rob and I were married on August 16, 2008. Previous to marrying, we had discussed our desire for children, and luckily we were both on the same page. We want babies!!! We were both 32 at the time of the wedding and were very ready to be parents.

I have always had a love for children, and even have a knack for working with them, which I use in my field of work as a speech-language pathologist. Being a mother is something I have wanted for as long as I could remember. There's no better feeling that having a little bundle of love fall asleep on you. Being over 30, though, I was becoming very aware of that biological clock. My original, and pragmatic, goal when I was younger was to have my first child before the age of 30 because the health benefits are so great. Yes, I am a goober, that IS why I wanted my first before 30. But I also know that once you reach 35, it becomes increasingly difficult to get pregnant, and I couldn't imagine my life ending up as me NOT being a mother (I had semi-jokingly told my parents that if I hadn't meet Mr. Right before I hit 35, that they shouldn't ask how I got pregnant)

So Rob and I decided to start trying immediately. When I got my period a week after the wedding, we were a little sad, but only a little as we'd only been trying for a week. Once I got home from the honeymoon, I started reading about ovulation and such and learned about when the best times to conceive were (12 days after the first day of your period if you're curious). I figured it would take us a while to conceive as Rob and I are both large people and hadn't been eating very well the month of the wedding. Also, Rob drinks WAY too much coffee, and like any good Irishman, enjoys his Guinness, which can impact the quality of the sperm, if you must know. So I started to eat healthy and cut out tea as much as possible, and Rob curbed his libations. I even went out and bought ton of baby books for conceiving and eating healthy, etc.

But the Gods of pregnancy smiled upon us, because apparently before we even bought the books, I was pregnant! From the date of the wedding, it took us about 3 weeks to conceive. I am still simply gobsmacked by that. My brother and his wife took 2 weeks to conceive, so I suppose we're just an abnormally fertile family. I just really assumed it would take me longer due to my weight. So seeing that stick say 'pregnant' was just about the most amazing thing I had ever seen. And I've now entered my newest cycle of life called motherhood.... which I really hope I don't screw up too much!!! :)

What The !?!?!?

This is the first in what I hope to be many blogs about my pregnancy. I'm not much of a writer, but I've had some thoughts running through my head, so I figured I might as well type them out. You see, not only am I pregnant, but I am morbidly obese. So the fact that I'm pregnant at all is, well, pretty amazing, at least to me. I probably should have started writing earlier, as I'm not 20 weeks in, or HALFWAY THERE, but, well, I didn't so there you have it.

Yes, you did read that correctly a bit ago, I am morbidly obese, and not afraid to say it. Throughout the rest of my pregnancy and recovery, I'm hoping to fill people in on what it's like for those like me. I'd love to hear from others who are, have been, or are hoping to become pregnant. Of course, partners are also welcome to chime in. Larger people all have their own stories, and I do not suppose I can represent the entire obese population, but I am have been a 'big girl' for most of my life, so I probably have a good idea what many are going through.

I grew up in Central New York (though now I live in Ireland). My mother's family noticed that I as getting larger around the age of 4th grade. This is when mom asked if I'd be interested in joining her at Weight Watchers. I jumped on it and lost about 20 pounds, which is a lot for a 10 year old. But, as most with a lot to lose know, it didn't stay off. I have memories of sneaking the chocolate bars my brother was trying to sell for boy scouts and hiding the wrappers, not so well, in the bottom of the trash... or going to the kitchen for a 'glass of water' when I was really grabbing a couple slices of yummy processed American cheese... or raiding my piggy bank, my mom's piggy bank, the couch, etc. so that I could stop to buy junk food in a vending machine I knew of on the way to school.

Yea, I was really good at finding food. So, the pounds didn't stay off of me. Since then, I've always struggled with my weight. I've been to Weight Watchers MANY times, the most recently, I lost 3 stone (42 pounds) about 3 years ago in Dublin, which was kept off for a bit, but then about 2 stone of that snuck back in. I've lost and gained 40 pounds with Atkins, been to a Diet Center, and have yo-yo'd for as long as I can remember. So, I guess you could say I'm a professional at being fat.

I hope this blog is interesting for my potential readers. That it gives you insight into the obese world and gives everyone a respect that you may not have potentially had previously. I am not writing to make fun of 'fat people' and hope that that is not your purpose in reading my blog. I honor and welcome comments, but ask for them to be respectful to all.

So to all who read this, happy blogging!
Best,
Jen